12 - Maternal Mental Health: 5 Non-Negotiables Every Mom Needs
Last week, we took a deep dive into maternal mental health from what it is, what contributes to challenges, and more. If you missed it, I encourage you to start there because that foundation is helpful. Understanding the “why” makes it easier to take care of yourself in the “what now.”
This week, I want to pivot from understanding to doing. I’m sharing my maternal mental health non-negotiables. They are practices I stick to for myself, and ones I encourage other moms to try. These aren’t rules, and they’re definitely not a checklist to make you feel like you’re failing. They’re flexible, doable, and meant to help you protect your mental, emotional, and spiritual health in your day-to-day life. Think of them as little anchors you can lean on when life gets messy (which it will).
#1 One Daily Rest Window Matters
There’s one thing I’ve learned as a mom: having at least one protected rest window every day can make a huge difference for your mental health. And no I don’t just mean the generic “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice. What this can look like changes depending on your season of life…newborn, toddler, multiple kids, or motherhood unfolding differently than you imagined.
The point isn’t when it happens or how long it lasts. The point is that there’s at least one part of your day that’s intentionally yours where your cup is being filled, even if that rest doesn’t come from sleep.
For some moms, that might be while the baby naps. For others, it’s a few minutes after bedtime. Early mornings, evenings, nap time, a moment on the porch, there really is no “right” way. What matters is that it supports you and your nervous system in this phase.
Right now, in this season, I get two rest windows, morning and evening, but that hasn’t always been true, and it might not always be.
Morning is calm and sensory-safe with soft music, minimal TV, and slowing breakfast down. I read my Bible and pray out loud so my daughter can be included. In the evenings, I have a hard stop to work unless a client needs me, I pause non-urgent responses to friends and family, let my brain shut down, get cozy with a warm drink, and read. Sometimes only a page, sometimes I binge read. All depends on the day.
And yes, sometimes I doom-scroll on my phone. I’m human too y’all…what can I say. These moments are intentionally protected to support my mental health before I hit empty.
#2 Step Outside (Even Just Out the Door)
Sometimes, the simplest thing you can do for your mental health is get out of the house. Especially in weeks when there’s no built-in reason to leave, even a small change of scenery can make a big difference.
This doesn’t have to be productive or social to “count”. A short walk, sitting outside, a drive with the baby, or a quick errand…all of it counts. The goal isn’t what you do, it’s breaking up the monotony of motherhood, especially postpartum.
A small change in scenery can refresh your mind, offer new sensory input, and help reset your nervous system. In my life, it’s often simple: time outside with my daughter or a short drive (bonus points if I run through Starbucks or Swig for a guilty pleasure treat).
This non-negotiable is flexible. Some weeks it might happen every day, other weeks just once or twice. The key is doing it at all, in whatever way works.
#3 Wondering If You Should See Someone? Then Yes.
I mentioned this in my last blog but it is so important to me that I want to mention it again. One of the simplest and most important non-negotiables I’ve adopted is this: if you find yourself asking, “Should I see someone for this?”, the answer is yes. That question itself is often a signal that support is needed, even if you’re not sure what that looks like yet.
Maternal mental health challenges don’t always announce themselves in big, dramatic ways. Sometimes it’s a creeping feeling of anxiety, irritability, or emptiness. Sometimes it’s a nagging sense that life is harder than it should be. Sometimes it’s just a heaviness that you can’t shake. Paying attention to those early signs, instead of waiting until things feel unbearable can make a huge difference in how quickly you get relief and support.
I’ve used this in my own life. Reaching out early even when it feels uncomfortable or unnecessary can prevent struggles from becoming overwhelming. And the truth is, you won’t be judged for seeking help. Asking for support is a brave, proactive step, not a failure.
This non-negotiable is about giving yourself permission to take action when you notice discomfort. It doesn’t matter if you’re “sure” it’s serious or not. Your wellbeing, and your baby’s, is worth prioritizing.
#4 Connect With Other Moms
Motherhood can be isolating if you let it. One of the best ways to protect your mental health is to intentionally connect with other moms.
This doesn’t have to mean weekly playdates or big social groups. Even one or two trusted moms you can check in with regularly can make a huge difference. Local mom groups, walking buddies, church communities, or online groups all work. The key is carving out space to share, ask questions, or simply feel seen.
Intentionality is key. Isolation can sneak up fast. That’s why I create local spaces like mom walks and small meetups, and why I’m building workshops to help mothers connect because I want to practice what I preach and make it accessible for moms to be with other moms in my area. A quick message, coffee, or text thread is enough to remind you that you’re not alone.
I know connection doesn’t solve everything necessarily, but it’s a simple way to nurture mental health in the everyday. My mom friends both local and online have been my postpartum lifeline.
#5 Protect Your Heart and Mind
Motherhood comes with endless advice, opinions, and “shoulds,” and it’s easy for all that input to chip away at your peace, confidence, and joy. That’s why protecting what you allow into your mind and heart is non-negotiable. Add in a society that is practically ablaze right now and full of so much depravity and evil and it’s beyond overwhelming.
This isn’t about isolating yourself. It’s about implementing boundaries. Limiting social media that triggers comparison, stepping away from overwhelming news, or being selective about whose advice you let influence you can all make a difference. Proverbs 4:23 sums it up perfectly: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
At the end of the day…
Motherhood is hard. And mental health in motherhood? Even harder. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to do it perfectly, and you don’t have to do it alone. Some days you’ll nail all your non-negotiables. Some days, you won’t. And that’s okay.
The point and goal isn’t doing these perfectly. It’s being intentional about caring for yourself in ways that actually fill your cup, protect your heart and mind, and give you a little breathing room to parent from presence instead of stress. Whether it’s carving out a rest window, getting out of the house, reaching out for support, connecting with other moms, or guarding what you let into your heart and mind…these small, practical steps can add up in a big way.
Your mental health matters. Your cup matters. And showing up for yourself, even in the little ways, makes all the difference.
Take a moment today to notice where you might need a little extra care. Pick one small non-negotiable to protect yourself and give yourself the permission to honor it. You deserve it.