1- One Year Postpartum Reflections: What My Baby’s First Year Taught Me About Motherhood
my girl <3
Reflections on my baby’s first year: lessons learned, joys, challenges, and the moments every new mom will want to savor.The first year of motherhood is a whirlwind that changes you in ways you can’t ever fully prepare for. Moments of joy and exhaustion blur together. Days can feel monotonous at times, and then before you know it, the baby that once fit so perfectly on your chest is wiggling out of your arms, trying to run off.
Yesterday, my first baby, Charlotte, turned one. I feel we’ve reached this milestone at lightning speed. Time truly seems to move differently when you’re a parent. Where I used to beg for time to speed up and I’d roll my eyes at how slow years seemed to pass, I am now desperately clawing for more of it. Just one more day, just 5 more minutes, don’t grow up so fast. But the clock doesn’t care about my pining. My daughter continues to grow, meets new milestones, and changes by the day. And I’m always left in awe of and in love with who she becomes each go-around.
I’ve spent the week before her big day reflecting on this year. The good. The hard. The lessons learned. The things I’ve loved. What I wish I had done or thought differently, and what I’ll do differently next time around (should I be blessed with more children).
I hope for the mamas who are waiting for their baby’s arrival or who still have tiny, little newborns that, when you read this, you’ll find a lesson in the ones I learned this year (often the hard way). Or if you’re a mama with bigger babies (yes, even 18+ is still your “baby”), this list will be solidarity with you as I’m sure your reflections would echo many of the same sentiments.
These are the lessons that have stood out:
1. Build a Strong Support System
Your support system is vital to your first year. Tell people how to support you. This looks really different for every mother. Some women want someone else to hold the baby so they can sleep or shower. But some women really want to snuggle their baby and not share (this was me). The people who really love you and are in your corner WANT to show up in the way that is the most helpful.
2. Professionals Can (and Should) Be in Your Village
Your support system will mainly be friends or family (in most cases) BUT your support system can include providers such as a midwife, a doula, a pelvic floor physical therapist, a chiropractor, an IBCLC, etc. There is no shame in that. In fact, most mothers THRIVE with full, comprehensive care. We LOVE being a part of your village.
3. Protect the Newborn Bubble
Even with point #1 in mind, this is still YOUR baby. Everyone and their mother will be so excited to meet your baby. And what a blessing to be so loved! But do remember that during those first hours/day/night, it’s also your first time meeting them too. You’re allowed to be selfish with that time and with the newborn bubble.
You’re allowed to want time purely alone with your baby to just hold them and stare at them. To sniff their head and milk breath (it’s 2025…why can we not recreate these smells and bottle them up?!). You’ve just spent 9 months carrying them only to be followed by either very painful contractions and pushing them out OR going into an extensive surgery and being cut open. If there is ever a time to be selfish, it’s now. Take all the hours, days, weeks, etc. alone you want. Protect that bubble. You don’t get it back.
4. Get Lactation Education Early On. After That? Less is More.
Breastfeeding is a roller coaster with a learning curve. BUT, as counter intuitive as it may seem, don’t over complicate it. Get basic lactation education before baby comes if you can. It will serve you well. Once you have the basics down, less is more. You likely don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on supplements, lactation cookies, gadgets, etc. That’s consumerism preying on moms knowing they just want the best for their babies. When in doubt, connect with an IBCLC.
5. Remember: Every Feed is Practice. Don’t Beat Yourself Up Over a Bad Feed or Two.
On days when breastfeeding is hard, remember this: every feed is practice. When it doesn’t go right, you will have another chance to practice again in a few hours (or 2…or 1…hello cluster feeding). If you need a baseline to know that baby is okay, count dirty diapers and keep track of their weight gain.
6. Nursing Your Baby to Sleep or for Regulation is a Superpower
Nursing your baby to sleep or for comfort is a superpower and you cannot convince me otherwise. It’s a tried and true biological TOOL and if it works for you, USE IT WITHOUT SHAME. Do not let anyone convince you that you’re spoiling your baby by doing that.
7. You Cannot Spoil or “Baby” a Baby
Responsive, attentive care doesn’t spoil your baby. It just doesn’t work that way. It builds trust and security which in turn naturally develops their independence down the road because they feel safe.
8. No, Seriously. You Cannot Spoil Your Baby.
Not even from holding them “too much” (whatever the heck that means). Who even came up with the concept that you could hold your baby “too much”?! I just wanna talk. I spent a painful amount of time stressing that I was ruining my daughter by not forcing a schedule, by letting her take naps on me, and by holding her as much as I could. I would get incredible anxiety over it. And now? I would give nothing more than to be nap-trapped again. Those days for us are more than likely long gone and I wished I had spent more time just soaking it in instead of worrying about the voices around me saying it was bad for her (spoiler: it wasn’t...she now puts herself to sleep independently. Eventually, I’ll talk about how we did this with no cry-it-out and if it can work for you).
Those snuggles were some of the sweetest moments in our early days. A year later I don’t regret a single contact nap nor do I look back at our first year together wishing I had held her LESS. And likely, neither will you. Enjoy the snuggles while you can. That phase ends so much faster than you expect.
9. Baby-Led Sleep & Feeding Schedules Will Create Less Stress (And Protects Milk Supply)
Your baby will develop a schedule naturally. Tune into them and their clock instead of forcing a schedule you happened to see on social media. It’ll save you so much stress and create more connection for the both of you!
10. Appreciate How Fast the First Year Truly Flies. Everyone Says it for a Reason.
Ugh I know this is cringey but it does go so much faster than you anticipate. On days where it’s really hard, this fact will be comforting. On others, this fact will break your heart. Welcome to the dichotomy of motherhood!
11. The Days Will Ebb & Flow. Not Everyday Will be Disney-Level Magic.
There are some days that will be amazing and everything you dreamed of. But there will also be days that are really hard (likely very sleep deprived days). You’re not a bad mom for not enjoying every single day or every single moment. You’re human.
12. Completely Trash “Bouncing Back”. You Won’t Be the Same, and That’s Beautiful!
Society will tell you that you can and should “bounce back.” Bounce back to your marriage before baby. Bounce back to your body before baby. Bounce back to yourself before baby. Chances are it won’t happen. Motherhood doesn’t leave any corner of your life unchanged.
Be free from the expectation that if you just try hard enough you can get back to your old life…only now with a baby in your arms. That expectation sets mothers up to fail almost every. single. time.
You won’t be the old you, but you’ll be made new. Your marriage won’t be the same, but it can grow stronger and deeper. Your body will take time to heal, but it can also feel stronger than ever (even if it carries stretch marks, shifts from breastfeeding, or other changes). And you’ll emerge transformed in ways you never imagined.
And in time, I hope to offer some ideas on how to embrace this new version of yourself <3
13. Learn How to Listen & Trust Your Intuition
A mother’s intuition is real, but it will take you some time to build confidence in listening to yours. When you feel a choice deep in your core, that’s your intuition talking. Act on it! The more you do, the more comfortable you get!
14. Trust That God Chose You to Be Their Mom
This is probably the most important point: God chose YOU to be their mother. YOU are their mom for a reason. Not your mom, not your grandma, not your neighbor, not your friend who you think has motherhood totally figured out (they don’t), and no, not even your doula. You.
With all your beauty, flaws, and quirks. The Lord designed your precious baby, looked at them, and knew they needed YOU to steward them. Lean into this. Learn to lean into your God-given intuition. While you can surely learn from others, at the end of the day, all the unsolicited opinions are just noise. Tune them out when needed. You are their mother for a reason.
If you’re in the thick of it with sleepless nights, an abundance of well-intentioned visitors, and an endless amount of unsolicited advice (I guess you can add me to that list), just know it goes by fast. Be happy and heartbroken by that fact all at once.
One year later, the baby girl I had just met and was holding in my arms for the first time is toddling around and talking and growing all too fast. If I could live it all again, I would. I just wish I would’ve had this list then, to mother my first baby knowing what I know now.
But alas, I cannot. What I can do though is take these lessons forward into the next year. I pray you can take these lessons into your days ahead as well. Trust your instincts, soak in the little moments, follow your baby’s cues, and let go of the noise. I’ll be holding Charlotte a little longer at bedtime (while she’ll let me), letting her explore independence on her own terms and not the ‘shoulds’ of others. Read ONE more book just because. Do one extra round of letting her point around her room to go wave at random objects (our current favorite game).
Which of these lessons speaks the most to you today? If this resonated, share it with a mama friend who might need the reminder too.
With Love,
Greta