3- First Thanksgiving With a Newborn: Should You Go or Stay Home?
Thanksgiving is officially in t-minus 3 days. Are you feeling nervous? Excited? Anxious? Ready? All of the above? Are you starting to second guess those holiday plans? If so, this blog is for you.
My first Thanksgiving with my daughter was one of the first big boundaries I set for her and for myself. She was a precious November baby, born about two weeks before the big day. I had bought her Thanksgiving outfit months ahead because I was SO excited for her first holiday. I couldn’t wait to enjoy a plateful of food without being in pain (being starving in the third trimester with nowhere for food to go should honestly be studied as a form of torture).
What stressed me out? The travel. We always travel for Thanksgiving. Georgia one year, Nebraska the next. The thought of driving or flying with a brand new baby filled me with immense anxiety and dread. So we chose to stay home. We told family they were welcome to come to us, and stay home we did. Family brought food, my husband proudly cooked the turkey, and I very naively tried to make a casserole and pie (my postpartum, sleep-deprived brain almost ended in tears…should not have attempted that).
It was small, we were cramped in our tiny house, but I was home in leggings, a cozy sweater, slippers, and minimal makeup (my 2016 self with the perfectly curated Thanksgiving outfit would’ve cringed). Had I attempted travel? Oh boy. I was still VERY much so healing. Alternating Tylenol and ibuprofen, still needed ice packs, and still proudly in diapers. I’m so thankful I stood up for myself and I honestly look back on that simple Thanksgiving with so much fondness. I realize just how much peace came from choosing what actually worked for us.
You might be facing the same dilemma: do we just suck it up and make the trek? Should we stay home by ourselves? Should we host? Some combination? Here’s the truth: There is no one right way. You get to decide what a meaningful holiday looks like for your family. You make the choice that is right for YOU and YOUR baby. Not the choice that is right for your great aunt Bethany or cousin Eddie. You get to curate the most perfect first Thanksgiving with your baby that you want it to be.
Do you FINALLY want a chance to get dolled up and get out of the house? Do it! Do you want to lock the door, throw away the key, and sit on the couch with your husband and kiddos eating boxed stuffing with Christmas movies on TV? Go for it! Do you want to host and have family come to you? Power to you, girl! A combination of all of these?? Your choice! Make this day yours!
Ready to claim this day as your own? Here are some strategies to make Thanksgiving work for YOU:
1.Brainstorm Your Options
Take a moment to reflect on what you and your baby truly need this Thanksgiving. Write down all your options: stay home alone, travel, host, or some mix. Think about how each might feel emotionally and physically.
2. Set Boundaries As Soon As You Can
Consider what feels manageable for you and let your family know. You might get pushback if you go against the status quo, and that’s okay. They’re allowed to feel disappointed just like you’re allowed to make the choice that works for you. Their reaction is about them. It doesn’t make your boundary right or wrong.
3. Prepare for Flexibility
The day probably won’t go perfectly, and that’s completely okay! Have a “Plan B” in mind, whether it’s moving your meal to another day or visiting family at a different time. Holidays rarely go exactly as planned, and that’s part of what makes them memorable.
4. Focus on Connection, Not a To-Do List
It’s easy to get swept up in checking things off, but the heart of the holiday is connection. Think about what would make the day feel meaningful for you. Is that snuggling on the couch with your baby watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving in your pajamas, or introducing them to the cousin’s table? Whatever makes it meaningful for you.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Make New Traditions!
Your first Thanksgiving with your baby is a perfect opportunity to try new things. Some of these small moments might just become your favorite traditions for years to come.
6. If You are Breastfeeding, Have a Plan!
Mastitis rates tend to spike around the holidays, often because baby isn’t getting nursed as often, feedings are rushed, or travel interrupts your usual routine. Essentially, your breasts aren’t being drained completely or on schedule. Mastitis is something you do NOT want to deal with, especially around the holidays. Plan ahead: set timers for feedings, pump if you need to, make extra stops if traveling, and ask family to wait so you don’t miss anything important. Listen to your body and your baby, not the clock or the people around you. Lucy Webber, IBCLC, has a great post talking some more about this over on her page(IG: @lucywebberfeedingsupport_ibclc | FB: Lucy Webber Feeding Support - IBCLC)
7. Give Yourself Permission to Make This Choice
Remember, your first Thanksgiving with your baby is about what feels right for you and your family (not anyone else’s expectations).
Whatever you choose this Thanksgiving, may it be full of joy, connection, and moments you’ll remember fondly. Loved this post? Send it to a friend who’s navigating their first Thanksgiving with a newborn, they’ll thank you for the permission to do it their way!