4- First Trimester Feelings: Managing Anxiety, Fear & Joy in Early Pregnancy
Have you noticed how strange early pregnancy can feel? Excited one minute, anxious the next? The stage where you don’t look pregnant yet, so your emotions and experiences can feel invisible to those around you.
In my own early pregnancy, I remember struggling with this emotional dichotomy. I was thrilled but scared, invested but slightly disconnected, and didn’t fully “feel” pregnant yet.
Every pregnancy is different, every woman is different, and the emotions that come with it can shift from moment to moment. Those early feelings aren’t always talked about, but naming them can help you feel seen and understood. I’ve listed some of the emotions that often surface in those first weeks, along with prompts to help you reflect on your own experience.
Elation & Joy
What you might be feeling or thinking:
The “Oh my gosh, this is happening” moment
Bursts of excitement and gratitude
Prompt: What is one thing about your pregnancy, birth, or baby that you are really excited or happy about today? Start a journal and start writing them down to reflect back on!
Anxiety
What you might be feeling or thinking:
“Is everything okay?”
Fear of miscarriage
Worry about symptoms or lack of symptoms
Concern about telling people too early or too late
Nerves over the amount of changes (lifestyle, health, future, relationships)
Prompt: Notice the thoughts and worries you’re carrying right now. Where do they sit in your body? What’s one thing you don’t know about early pregnancy that, if you learned it, might help your mind settle?
Stress & Overwhelm
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Your mental load increases immediately
Suddenly inundated with all things baby and parenting
Holding space for the reactions of others
Managing work, responsibilities, and exhaustion
Realizing the amount that you have to prepare for (things to purchase, space to make, life decisions)
Prompt: Notice the stress you’re carrying in your body today. Is it in your shoulders, your neck, your back, your head? What is one small action, pause, or release you could offer yourself to lighten this load, even just a little?
Fear
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Fear of loss
Fear of the identity shift
Fear of birth
Fear of pregnancy symptoms
Fear of body changes
Fear of not being ready (yes, even if your pregnancy was planned)
Fear of how life, finances, and relationships will shift
Prompt: What is the thing you’re most afraid of in this moment? What small piece of knowledge about first-trimester experiences could give you a sense of reassurance or control?
Anticipation & Hyperawareness
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Constantly watching for symptoms
Counting days to appointments
Feeling this weird in-between of “I’m pregnant!” and “Nothing has changed”
Prompt: What is something you have noticed yourself paying extra attention to or thinking about? Does that bring excitement, anxiety, or both?
Disconnection & Surrealness
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Even if you have fatigue or nausea, not feeling “pregnant” yet
Nothing to show on the outside
No movement from baby yet
Might have no symptoms or they come and go
Feeling like it hasn’t sunk in yet
Not feeling that maternal attachment yet which leads to guilt
Prompt: Notice if you are feeling some distance from this pregnancy right now. What simple rituals could help you slow down and tune into your body and baby?
Guilt
What you might be feeling or thinking:
For feeling nervous or unsure
For struggling with nausea, fatigue, or irritability/mood swings
For being unable to keep up with your normal life
For not feeling as excited as you think you “should”
Prompt: What thoughts are making you feel guilty, and what details can you observe in this moment that reflect reality, not your inner critic?
Loneliness & Invalidation
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Can’t share the news yet or aren’t ready to
Hard to explain how you are feeling without people knowing
The outside world sees and expects normal you, but inside everything has changed
This can be made so much harder if you are struggling with symptoms and you can’t physically keep up or perform as you normally do at your job. Others assume you might just be slacking without knowing the truth.
Prompt: Who do you wish saw what you’re feeling or going through right now, and what do you wish you could tell them or make them understand?
Ambivalence
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Feeling grateful and overwhelmed
Feeling excited and unsure
Feeling “I am so happy for this baby” and “I have no idea what I’m doing”
Prompt: Notice any mixed emotions you’re feeling. Those push-pull thoughts or feelings. Excitement, worry, hope, doubt. What might each part be trying to tell you about your needs or what matters to you?
Hopefulness
What you might be feeling or thinking:
Imagining the future (you have so many amazing things to look forward to)
Looking ahead to milestones
The quiet intimacy with your spouse, close family, or friends when few people know
Feeling small surges of “I got this”
Prompt: What future moments or experiences are you quietly hoping for in your pregnancy, in birth, or in motherhood?
While researching ways to navigate strong emotions (both positive and negative), I came across a fantastic podcast by Michelle Grosser in which she explores Deb Dana’s 4 R’s of self-regulation, which are: Recognize, Respect, Regulate, and Restory. Although the framework itself isn’t pregnancy or motherhood-specific, I’ve found that these principles can translate beautifully to the ups and downs of early pregnancy emotions. Below, I’ve adapted the 4 R’s to help pregnant readers and clients navigate the wide range of feelings that can come up in those early months:
1. Recognize
Michelle worded it perfectly, “You can’t address what you’re not aware of.” Until you name it, it’s an emotional giant that you have no tools to work with or against. What is the emotion? What is the trigger (yes, even for the positive emotions)? Once you name it, it suddenly becomes manageable.
2. Respect
Forcing yourself to “just get over it”, “just calm down”, “just let it go”, etc etc only does you more harm than good. You are allowed to feel your emotions. They are valid. You are in the middle of a situation that carries complex emotions, even when babies are the greatest blessing. Bigger blessings often come with bigger responsibilities, and therefore bigger emotional weight. It just means you’re human.
3. Regulate
There is no one “best” way to regulate emotions. It’s highly individualistic. Start working on your personal toolkit on what works best for you!
Here are a few of my personal favorites you might try:
-Breathing: Place a hand on your belly and focus on the sensation of your belly rising and falling with each slow, deep breath.
-Drinking a warm drink: The sensation of the warmth of the mug and the drink as I sip it is very calming to me. I allow myself to zero in on that warmth.
-Running hands under cool water: Similar to drinking a warm drink, I allow myself to zone in on the coolness of the water running through my fingers.
-Engaging My Body: I start at the top of my shoulders and I intentionally clench and tense then slowly release. Then my back. Then arms. Then my core. Then my hips. Then my legs. Then my toes.
4. Restory
Restory isn’t lying to yourself, but it is a chance to look at the situation from a perspective you might not have considered yet. Such as “what else can be true about this situation?” “what’s a kinder version I can tell myself”
You can listen to Michelle Grosser’s podcast for the full discussion of Deb Dana’s framework here
If you walk away from this with anything, just know that if you’ve been feeling any mix of these emotions (even within a 5 minute time span), know that this is completely normal. Your emotions, whether they be pure, unbridled joy or quaking-in-your-boots fear, are valid, and you’re not alone in experiencing them. By noticing and reflecting on these feelings, you’re already taking steps to navigate early pregnancy more calmly and empowered. Even small awareness can make a big difference.
If you want extra guidance as you navigate these weeks, my virtual prenatal services can help you gain the information you need to feel empowered about what is to come, give you a safe space to talk through big emotions, and hand you the tools to have a beautiful pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
And if you’re looking for a way to start caring for yourself now and prepare for postpartum, you can sign up for my email list to receive a free copy of my “Rest & Restore Menu” which is your guide to the 7 types of rest that will help support you now, and in the months after your baby arrives. Even though it’s focused on postpartum, it’s a helpful way to start caring for yourself now, while you’re pregnant. Click here to get yours now <3